The More You Know

January 19, 2015 by camoozle

Since I’ve started this journey to find my fit self, I’ve learned many many things. As a novice, I made mistakes. I’ve carb-loaded with beer and macaroni and cheese. I’ve ran a race in brand new shoes. I’ve overestimated the length of my running shorts and skimped on the glide. After running this weekend’s Disney Star Wars Half Marathon at Disneyland, I realized I’ve learned a few things. I also realized, many things left to learn I have (Yep, I just Yoda’d you).

Channeling my inner Yoda (who sounds a lot like Meri).

I can’t say I was feeling particularly confident. You all know how serious I am about training (please note sarcasm) and I’ve been nursing a sore ankle since last February. I’m beginning to think I’ve damaged it beyond repair because I’ve been waiting and waiting for it to get back to normal but it seems I’m stuck between 60-80%. Also, once again, I’m having problems with my feet and shoes. I’ve had a long lasting love affair with my Skora’s, but after last weekend’s Citrus Heritage 5K here in Riverside, I fear the sneaks have fallen out of favor. With only a week until the half, I was in no position to break in a new pair of shoes so I toughed it out at Star Wars. Because that is my jam, yo. As a toy collecting, merchandise wearing, video game playing fan, if anyone should participate in an Inaugural Star Wars themed race, it should be me.

Just a taste of my collection.

Despite this business, Meri persuaded me to make a plan. Plan you must, she said, like my own personal Jedi mentor. So I decided to do intervals. I mean, really do it. Like actually stop when my phone tells me to. And I went to bed early. And I didn’t drink beer the night before and I got up early and ate a great, healthy snack and I wore comfortable clothes, including a pair of bright green compression socks courtesy of my chick and Star Wars roomie, Vic. I biofreezed, KT taped, AND compressed my ankle. And guess what? I PR’d. That’s right. I never thought I cared about this until I actually beat myself. Yes, it’s true, I love beating myself. And now I feel like a whole new runner. The more you know…

I think I’m going to stick with this planning thing. I bought new shoes today. I know, I know, AGAIN? But I went and had my feet evaluated because during that race yesterday, all I could think about was how if my feet would stop throbbing, this race would be amazing. The race was amazing, the course was fantastic, the costumes divine, but my feet effing sucked. So Brooks, you’ve worn me down, waited me out, and here I am, putting my poor flat feet into your big, ugly soles. I also got orthotic inserts to try out and if they make a difference, I’m seriously considering having some customized ones made. Something has to be done or I won’t be able to run much longer. And we all know that CANNOT happen. I can barely stand the fact I didn’t do the Rebel Challenge this weekend. Every time I heard the clanging of medals yesterday, I was overcome with medal envy. Imagine if I could never again feel that sweet victory ribbon heavy with determination hang around my neck. No. Race I must. And so wear ugly shoes, I must.

They’re not so bad, right? And I can cute them up with socks, right? RIGHT???

Happy Boxing Day!

December 26, 2014 by camoozle

In various countries all over this beautiful blue planet today, people are queuing up to sort out those last little holiday trifles. In Europe, stores open early and banks are closed in recognition of this day of goodwill. In ye olde tymes, Boxing Day was a day to give gifts to those in need or in service positions. It has since become a shopping day, akin to the US Black Friday, where shoppers can score sweet deals on some sweet merch.

Here in the States, Boxing Day takes on a whole different meaning. I’m spending the day cleaning up Lego boxes and Amazon boxes and clothing boxes torn apart by eager little hands. I’m packing up red and green boxes with ornaments and decorations to be stored until next year while demolishing little gold boxes of chocolate. I’m reboxing items that need to go back to the store; duplicate presents from liked minded friends who know us so well. And I can’t help but think it a chore. Grumble all the way.

And this is what won’t fit in the recycling bin.

Two sets of wireless headphones. They know me so well.

The sheer enormity of what needs to be done to get my house, and my health, back in order is daunting. All I want to do is drink wine and binge watch National Lampoon movies. I love Christmas. I’ve watched Love Actually four times this week. I’ve indulged in sugar cookies and macaroni and cheese and fine alcoholic beverages. I’ve enjoyed out of town friends and family immensely and laughed until my belly ached. But today I’m suffering from a holiday hangover. I haven’t been to the gym in a week, I need a sugar detox and quite frankly, I’ve been buzzed since Monday. And it’s not even over yet! I still have to make it through New Years.

I’ve been supposedly involved in this Holiday Health Challenge at my gym. And I’ve completely let my team down because I have fallen off the wagon in a big way. I’ve been so good at monitoring myself throughout this year. I’ve felt healthy and strong and proud of my accomplishments. In one short week, I’ve given in to this sluggish, lazy, gluttonous routine that I know I need to leave behind but I just can’t find the energy to start.

How, my fitness family, do you avoid the three signs of the apocalypse: sugar, bread, and alcohol? I am perfectly fine with indulging on this special occasion, but now that it’s winding down, my biggest obstacle is figuring out how to stop. I have a half-marathon in two weeks! “Just get back on track”, they say. Easier said than done, Pinterest.

I need some out of the box ways to get motivated. How do you recover from the holidays? Share with me your wisdom, internet world!

Mission Inn-Possible!

November 12, 2014 by camoozle

Since I began this wild and crazy ride called runcationing, I have completed five half-marathons. However, I have never ran a half in my actual city or even county of residence. Through each of these races, I’ve had Meri, my mega-motivator, by my side. On a whim, I signed up for three local races in the Run Riverside race series. Why? For the medal, of course! For some reason, I decided that one of those races would be a half-marathon. I felt ready. I felt confident. I had kicked ass at the Hometown Heroes 10k last month.

Supporting Riverside’s Boys in Blue at the Hometown Heroes 10k

It wasn’t until the weekend before that I realized Meri wouldn’t be there to dance with me or bribe me with laffy taffy. In fact, I wouldn’t have anyone with me. I would be spending three freaking hours by myself. Running.

What the hell was I going to do with myself? Would I even be able to finish this on my own? As we all know, I’m the least self-motivated person on the planet. I excel at procrastination. It’s my superpower. Did I train for this half? I think we all know the answer to that one. And yet, I woke up on Sunday at the crack of dawn and got myself downtown to the start.

Meri and me after my first half. I was told by a psychic that day that my soul mate's name would begin with a "M". Coincidence? I think not.

After my first half. I was told by a psychic that day that my soulmate’s name would begin with an “M”. Coincidence? I think not.

Riverside, CA has an awesome downtown area centering around an old hotel, the Mission Inn. I’ve lived in the area and use to walk downtown to get fresh produce at the farmer’s market, or to pick up a book from the used book store. I’ve spent some nights dancing or listening to bands in one of the many bars and lounges. Every year, the place is lit up for the holidays with vendors, Santa, and even an ice skating rink. It’s a place where I’ve spent many a day and night. However, I’ve never ran a race here!

Mission Inn Festival of Lights

The best thing about running in your hometown? You run into people you know everywhere! I had my fella drop me off at the start so I wouldn’t have to park because parking sucks downtown. I picked up my bib and chip and got all pinned up and made my way to the start. Where I ran into some friends! We chatted and compared compression socks and stretched. You know, all the stuff friends do when they’re getting ready to run 13.1 miles.

And then we were running.

I had bought this new headset, you know the fancy kind that’s also a hands-free headset and I had downloaded this HIIT interval app for my phone. For some reason, the volume on my headset kept going down. On its own. I’d turn it up and the damn thing would mute again, like it was possessed or something. I spent the first 3 miles trying to figure out what was wrong with my phone. Was it the app? My music player? I couldn’t figure it out until I realized my headset was the only thing that was new. The little button thing that you push to make it a headset was malfunctioning. So I ripped it off. Yep. I had to break my headset. Because this was more logical than spending 10 more miles with just my thoughts.

I took this pic just for Bec because I know how much she loves this quote.

Once I figured this out, my music worked like a champ. So I reset my interval timer and waited for the buzz. This worked for a good five more miles. Then it just stopped. I was running for what seemed like forever and when I checked my phone. It had reset. Well, now I would never be able to trust this app again. And trust in my interval app is very important! I would have to find an alternate strategy.

Girl Talk to the rescue! I don’t know if any of you are familiar with the artist, but he’s this guy who mixes a bunch of popular songs from all different genres into one continuous stream. The songs blend into each other, like one long epic mash-up. It’s my favorite running music. I just started counting music changes. After 5 music changes, I would walk for one until it changed again. Then it was back to running. The music kind of lends itself to intervals perfectly because the beat also changes often; there’s a definite up and down in the rhythm.

Right around this time, I saw more friends! The course had a portion of out and back running along a bike trail. So I got a good look at all those peeps up ahead of me and it was nice to see familiar faces.

After I made the turn around, I started to overheat. It was hot. And my hamstrings were cramping up. I hydrated with powerade and water at every water station, but between miles 10-12, there wasn’t a water station in sight. This was also where the course meets up with the 10k course. Dozens of fresh runners started passing me up while I limped on. I kind of wished I had worn my bib on my back, so they knew I was running funny for a reason.

*Side Note: Telling a runner “You’re almost there, don’t give up!” is the equivalent of asking a pregnant lady if she’s having twins or telling someone they look tired. I know you mean well, avid race watcher/volunteer, but just don’t. Because your idea of “almost there” and my idea of “almost there” after 13 miles is completely different. Just saying.

But I made it! And my guy was waiting at the finish. This was literally the best thing in the world to see. Because that meant the car was near.

At the finish!

Have you every done a hometown race?

Tales of the Wild Sisterhood

October 13, 2014 by camoozle

I’ve always considered myself a natural kind of girl. So when one of my bestest friends, Kinsie, mentioned she was going to be barefoot dancing in the mountains of North Carolina, I jumped on the bandwagon. We participated in the Wild Woman Sisterhood’s Wild Feminine retreat. The Wild Woman Sisterhood focuses on reconnecting with Mother Earth and getting in touch with the inner wild feminine inside. They began in the Netherlands as a response to the conflict so many females find with other females. I’ll admit it. I’ve said it before: “Oh, I just don’t connect with other girls.” But after high school, I had the opportunity to travel the state of California for a girl’s service organization with a group of amazing young women. And I connected with them. For the last 15 years, I’ve shared many unforgettable experiences with these three ladies.

We recently celebrated 15 years of friendship with matching tattoos.

The Wild Feminine retreat wasn’t what I expected. It was so much more. Three whole days of self-introspection. Three days of group therapy. Three days of getting in touch with emotions I stifle and brush aside in order to get through my daily routines. Three days of dancing and meditating and singing. It was exhausting. And like any detox, the hardest part is entering back into the real world.

wild sisterhood collage The whole time I was there, I felt light, that weightlessness that comes with emotional release. It rained the first night we were there and living in California, this was glorious. I felt connected with nature. I felt strong and powerful in my femininity, dancing in flowy skirts with scarves and anklets made of bells will do that to you. I felt quiet and still. Reality is a culture shock. And I’m still adjusting, slowly incorporating all the things I learned into the chaos so that there’s balance. Don’t get me wrong, I love the chaos. But the quiet is nice too.

Wild Thing

September 24, 2014 by camoozle

I’ve been going through some things lately. Mostly difficult things. Mentally, I’m drained. I’m sure you parents and educators out there are feeling the Common Core crunch right about now. I sure am! I’m in a new grade level at a new school in a new district with new standards. I’ve been teaching for 10 years and every day I’m hit with the realization that I might not know what I’m doing. I am not amused.

Have you hugged a teacher today?

I’ve been completely sucking at my food plan. As such, my energy levels have been nilch. I’ve had some issues in my personal relationship so as you might imagine, I’ve been feeling just plain shitty. I feel like I spend so much energy trying to control so many things in my life; work, love, my children, food, exercise, weight…that there’s nothing left in the gas tank for actually enjoying my life.

I read this book “Go Wild” by John J. Ratey, MD. It’s all about getting back to basics, and I mean the evolutionary basics, when it comes to food, exercise, sleep, and socializing. It promotes a natural, hunter/gatherer diet, very paleo in nature, but the huge parts I remember are the bits about grains and sugars. And how they’re the devil.

I’m a sugar fiend. I love cake. I run just so I can have Laffy Taffy. I’m completely and totally addicted and in love with sugar. To hear that sugar is basically toxic to my body was heartbreaking. I wanted to deny it! But there’s just so much damn proof.

The book offers so many reasons why humans suffer now from all these afflictions which were virtually non-existent generations and generations ago. Some of these afflictions are completely absent even today in aboriginal and native cultures. The book argues that modern civilization is causing the demise of our species. And I’m on board, ladies and gents. Yes, I realize I just condemned modern civilization in a blog, for crying in the mud. But there’s something wrong with our world, with our species. Everytime I turn on NPR, I’m reminded of it. Heart disease, cancer, childhood obesity, mental illness…I’m ready to simplify. And I’m especially ready to change the habits I’ve forced on my children. Processed foods, say hello to my little friend…Relax, it’s just a trash can.

I’m also attending the Wild Feminine retreat in North Carolina. Click here to check it out on facebook. Yep, I’ve signed myself up for some naked forest dancing (or so I hope), looking to find that goddess within that I’ve lost touch with. I’m so very excited for this opportunity to just spend some time with myself, and get back to my wild nature. I want to feel comfortable in my body and at ease with my role on this huge planet. I want to experience something far more important than my silly insecurities and issues. Are you ready for Wild Cam? Because I am.

Cam’s Costume Corner

September 9, 2014 by camoozle

I was a huge theater geek in high school. Big surprise, I know. When I get the chance to put on fancy clothes and be some other persona for the day, I take advantage. Even if it means I’ll be stepping into character for 13.1 miles.

The key is to create a versatile and functional illusion of what you’re trying to convey. This is the most challenging aspect for me. I always forget that the costume doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t need a blind hem or actual button holes. It’s for show. You will wear that costume one time, it doesn’t need to be a work of art. It does, however, need to stay together for awhile. I’ve put together a few tips, just to get your creative juices flowing.

Doesn’t everyone bring their sewing machine and serger on their runcations?

Tip #1: Sequins are pretty, but they chafe like a mother.

Choosing the right fabric is vital. I generally want my costumes to be soft yet supportive. I also run hot so I need material that will breathe well. I generally choose cotton spandex blends. However, I will absolutely embellish with some fanciful trims. For example, our Ring Master costumes consisted of a plain white tank top with the sparkly vest sewn right onto it. The vest was a heavier material with the gold trim sewn to look like closures. A coat with tails would have been awesome, but who wants to run in that? I used the tulle to create a no-sew bustle instead. That way we could give the illusion of a fancy coat without an actual coat.

Tip #2 Accessorize, Accessorize, Accessorize

Sometimes the best costumes aren’t even about the actual clothes. Accessories can take your typical runwear and turn you into a roller derby diva. For these costumes we used black shorts and shirts silk-screened with a logo. Everything else was in the accessories: bandaids, temporary tattoos, handkerchiefs, knee pads and elbow pads, fishnets, even black Halloween make-up for creating bruises and missing teeth.

Tip #3 No Zippers Necessary

When I made these three Good Fairy costumes for the Tink half, I wasn’t going to have a chance to fit the dress to the girls. So instead of making the dresses with zippers, I used a t-shirt as the bodice and sewed the skirt onto the bottom of the shirt. That way I knew the dresses would fit. The shirts were also comfy and stretchy, perfect for running 13.1 miles in wings and a hat.

Tip #4 Fake It till you Make It.

Sometimes you have to just fake it. For this Rainbow Brite costume, I didn’t have a chance to finish the sleeves. So I just paired the dress with a shirt and gloves. This costume won me $100!

Tip #5 Work It

When it comes down to it, attitude has a lot to do with whether or not the costume works. You have to embody the persona you’re trying to represent. For instances, when I’m dressed like a ninja, I’m completely undetectable. I hide behind trees and jump and kick and I truly become the ninja. Same with our signature poses last weekend at the Disney 10k. We worked those sailor dresses!

Oh, Just Another Blog Post About Mental Illness

August 14, 2014 by camoozle

I’m sure you’ve read lots of stuff this week about mental illness but I sat down at my computer today and this was the only thing I wanted to talk about. The death of Robin Williams hit me right in the gut. He was a beautiful human being who dedicated his life to finding the funny. He was a good father and husband. He loved his job and used his position to better the lives of those in need. And now he’s gone.

I was diagnosed with depression and ADHD a little over three years ago. I have lived in my pajamas for days and days. I have barricaded myself in my house and fed my babies macaroni and cheese for every meal. I have gone days without sleep and then had to pinch myself to stay awake while I drove to work with my children in the car. I have cried hysterically because of the massive amounts of laundry piled on my floor. Because my mind was spinning, spinning, spinning. Because I felt like a failure. Because I was neglecting my kids. Because my marriage was falling apart. Because I couldn’t get my shit together. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The hardest part about mental illness is that there is no physical indicator that someone is sick. It’s not like a heart attack or cancer. No one disputes a broken arm. I was really good at faking happy. And I quote: “But you’re always so happy! You have nothing to be depressed about! Your life is perfect! You’re always cracking jokes and smiling!” Of course I was. I didn’t want anyone to know I’m a basket case. There’s a huge stigma in our society when it comes to mental illness. Manic. Depressed. Bipolar. Obsessive. Schizo. Weak. Impulsive. Crazy. Psycho. Emotional. Lazy. Slacker. Unreliable. Why would anyone choose to live like this? It’s not being ungrateful, or selfish, or ridiculous. It’s biological. And it’s unavoidable.

Luckily, I got help before the situation got any worse. I mixed therapy with drugs and was able to function. Sometimes, better than function! I often get to the point where I feel like I’m fixed and I don’t need the pills. I hate the pills. The side effects suck. I’ve gone off them three times in the last three years. Just today, I thought “I don’t really need this anymore.” But then I always I do. There are only so many self-help books I can read, so many affirmations I can make, so many miles I can run. Some days, it catches up with me. Those days, I’m really grateful I have health insurance and can get my meds and see my doctor for the low, low price of my copay. Those days, I say eff-you to the stigma and tell everyone that I’m feeling down and I need help. I’m one of the lucky ones. So many can’t get help or don’t want to admit they need help. I didn’t want to admit it. I fought it for a long time. When you’re in it, it’s really hard to see a way out.

I’ve seen a lot of articles about mental illness this week, probably the most I’ve seen in the media ever. I don’t know the stats but I know lots of people on this planet deal with mental illness. I know many people hurt themselves or others because they are biologically not in their right mind. There’s a lot of us head cases out there! And yet, the media doesn’t take notice until the disease claims an influential, radiant, profound life.

But I have hope.

I have hope that we won’t waste this opportunity to shed some of the social stigma that plagues mental illness.

I have hope that the conversations will continue and that brain research will be a priority.

I have hope that less people will suffer from mental illness and get the tools to live with it instead.

I have hope.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –

That perches in the soul –

And sings the tune without the words –

And never stops – at all

-Emily Dickinson

Symptoms of Depression

Depression Management Techniques

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

That Time I Ran Ragnar Northwest Passage

July 28, 2014 by camoozle

Last weekend I traveled to the great Northwest to run 196 miles with 11 awesome old and new friends. I had some really hard runs but felt very satisfied with how I performed. I brought along my Skoras and my ninja sword and thoroughly enjoyed running in misty weather. Here are the highlights from our adventure!

That Time We Unleashed Our Ninja Skillz at the Start Line

That Time the Girls Were Photo Bombed by One of Our Own

That Time We Encouraged Random People with a Smack on the Behind

That Time We Took All the Selfies

That Time We Recreated Things That Happened at Previous Ragnars

That Time Ian Got All the Sleep

That Time I Tried to Draw on All the Faces

That Time We All Jumped

That Time We All Wanted to be Like Robert

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The Original

That Time We Ran 196 Miles in 30 Hours

Straight to the Core

July 14, 2014 by camoozle

I’m about to start my third session of Body Back. After 16 weeks, I’ve lost 15-17 lbs (because it varies day to day) including 6 inches off my waist. The two pictures below are from weeks 8 and 16.

Kicking Ass and Taking Names

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am very very pleased with this progress. But I’m having one little issue: my frutt, also known as, the front butt. You see, there’s this extra skin that has accumulated around my lower abdominals, the result of creating two big babies. Well, when I wear pants, it tends to look a little like a behind. Hence the term, front butt. Please note below:

On the plus side, my booty is looking fab!

See how the distance from my hip in the front is the same as in the back??? No matter what I do, it seems to never disappear. I’m sure some of you ladies with babies know what I’m talking about. I’m not going to pretend I haven’t considered surgery. I really don’t want to go that route; it’s dangerous and painful and expensive and not to mention a little vain (because I’m so incredibly humble and modest, ha!). But I’d really like to hope there’s some natural way to shrink my gut. Why does it matter? Well, it doesn’t look too cute and all my pants fit weird. And I feel like I’ve been working really really hard. I have a vision for myself and it includes (one day in the far future) a bikini or a slinky dress. It does not include front butt.

My Body Back instructor asked us to take on a 30 day challenge this month and I chose this one from shrinkingjeans.net. Thank you pinterest!

I’m not giving up on a natural solution. I definitely know how far I still have to go until I even find my abs under all these stretch marks and loose skin. But I know I’m headed in the right direction.

Have you lost your front butt? Is it possible to do it without surgery? Please share in the comments!

Take a Hike

July 2, 2014 by camoozle

While I was recovering from my divorce, I read this book, Wild by Cheryl Strayed. It’s a true story about a woman who hiked the Pacific Crest Trail, an 1,100 mile trek completely alone. It was a soul-searching journey, the heroine literally pushed herself to the brink of survival and she was surprised to find what she was capable of. When I finished the book, I craved this journey. I wanted to see what I was capable of. I wanted to push myself to the brink to ignite that appreciation for life and self that this woman found on her trip. I wanted to feel the exhaustion and muscle soreness and blisters and raw pain that she described. I wanted the solitude and time spent in my own head in complete silence, free of distractions and petty worries and facebook and calorie counting. I wanted to get back to my true self. I had a list of people I wanted to forgive: my ex-husband and his girlfriend, my parents (for perceived injustices I sustained as a teenager), my friends who were no longer my friends, but most of all, myself. It’s at the top of my things to to do before I die list. (Both the hike and the forgiveness)

The Whole Pacific Crest Trail

The part of the trail I may actually get to hike some day.

I’m a momma so taking off for three months to hike isn’t feasible. But since reading, I’ve gained a whole new appreciation for the therapeutic benefits of communing with nature. It offers me the humble reminder that I am not the most important thing on this planet and that humans haven’t produced anything that can compare to magnanimous structures found in nature. The Pacific Crest Trail is sectioned off into smaller hikes that are more realistic for someone like me and I’ve got my eye on the John Muir Trail which runs from the Sequoias to the Redwoods.

I want to go to there.

In the meantime, I’m getting to spend some time on some other trails. I recently hiked The Narrows at Zion National Park, with my kiddos and my extended family. Five and a half hours of rocky water trail through a canyon surrounded by walls of slate and sandstone. It was magnificent, there’s just no other way to describe it. Also, I’m a total Geology nerd so I was lost in striation heaven.

Look! A Deer!

We also spent some time in Bryce Canyon. We hiked the Navajo Loop which connects to the Queens Garden trail. The hike was a little over three miles, but there was a steep descent and a steep climb out of the canyon. My little ones stuck it out for this too. I had to literally push my son up the last few hills, but he did it! I think I was more proud of his accomplishment than he was.

I’m also very interested in doing some trail runs and overnight backpacking hikes. Ragnar has an overnight trail relay series and I want in. The only question is…who’s going with me?

Do you trail run? Have you read this book? Did you know they’re making it into a movie? Do you want to hike the John Muir trail with me? How do you get back to your true self? Let us discuss!

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Author Archives: camoozle