There was a point in my life that I weighed myself every day. That’s right. Every. Single. Day. I was definitely obsessed, if not on the edge of disordered. Truthfully, I was driving myself a little crazy.
Until one day, I just stopped.
I decided that it wasn’t healthy for my mind to be so wrapped up in the numbers. So the morning visit to the scale ceased. I was mindful of my food but no longer tracked every morsel I consumed. I continued to work out. And I was content.
2013 brought many good things my way, including more half marathons, shorter races and workouts with my trainer at the gym. However, I injured myself in September and that put a damper on what I was able to do physically. My miles shrank but my food intake continued as though they hadn’t.
(You see where this is going, don’t you?)
I weighed myself the other day for the first time since the summer. I wasn’t all together surprised by the number but I will admit that I wasn’t happy with it either. That’s not to say that I’m not happy with myself, because I am. I’m at a good place, a much different place than I was when I was the girl weighing herself daily. Generally speaking, I’m pretty awesome.
But I would like to work hard to get back down, weight wise.
At my leanest, I was at 144. This was in 2012, when I was tracking everything – my weight, my food, my workouts – everything.
By the end of last summer, I was at 152 – I tracked my workouts, but that was basically it.
And now, here I am, at 156. I knew I was gaining weight. I could tell by the way my clothes were fitting mostly. I think that I tend to have a bit of body dysmorphia so no matter when I look in the mirror, I always see the same thing – whether I’m 10 pounds lighter or 20 pounds heavier. That doesn’t help matters.
What I do know is this: I need to make a change.
Rather than focusing on the numbers (since that hasn’t really worked well for my psyche in the past), I’m going to try to present things to myself in more than/less than fashion. For example…
More water and less bazillion (slight exaggeration) calorie drinks
More homecooked, less takeout. More veggies, less cookies. Smaller meals throughout the day and smarter choices.
I’m going to leave the numbers bit of things in the trusty hands(?) of my Fitbit One and myfitnesspal.
Treadmill outranks couch (that’s “my” spot that everyone steals – and I’m going to let them steal it.) And outside will outrank treadmill when it’s not 3 degrees.
And I plan to continue my exercising. I don’t think that I’ll feasibly be able to add things like hot yoga back into my schedule but I would like to hit the 10,000 step goal set by the Fitbit each day. (Okay, fine, maybe focusing a little bit on numbers isn’t the worst thing in the world.)
No excuses, no whining. I’m ready to get this done. I can and I will!
What sort of challenges or goals are you looking forward to tackling in 2014?
Oh, I so hear ya. I completely have body dysmorphia (just ask my best friend who also has it AND my husband who tells me I have it all the time). 10 lbs heavier or lighter? Makes no difference in what I see. So, I use my clothes as a gauge. And how I feel. Right now I am sugar detoxing from the holidays and trying to have less of those high calorie drinks, too. Outside of that, not much I can do. It is so hard when the cookies come calling, though. And, even harder when they call on a regular basis and they bring their friend latte or their other friend alcohol. Sigh. WE CAN DO IT! ha.
We totally can do it, Megan! It’s difficult because when I look in the mirror, I see NO change. But then I look at pictures and I’m like… huh, that shirt looked different on me awhile back. I’m definitely trying to cut out a lot of processed and sugar-y foods, get back to basics. And basics are honestly not as alluring as those other foods – SORRY BUT IT’S TRUE.
We CAN do this. Let’s meet for eggs and smoothies. 😉
looooove this post….. I love this quote ‘scales are for fish.’ I know so many people that weight themselves daily or multiple times during the week and it seems like it would be a hit of frustration and a want for something else. Let’s be satisfied with ourselves- happy, healthy, and satisfied- regardless of the number.
3 degree weather….. um yeah…. it was -15 here yesterday but today is suppose to be zero! so it is warming up! i haven’t ran in a weeek, driving me slightly insane…
Scales ARE for fishes! I like that a lot. The scale sits on the bathroom floor and for awhile, I have to say, it was mocking me a little bit. Taunting me to step on and see what it thought of me. But then I said NO, YOU SHUT UP SCALE! (Not out loud of course, that would be crazy.) So yes, I’m definitely in a good place, a happy place. Now it’s about fine tuning and getting to the fittest me I can be.
The freezing temps are not ideal at all! I’m very grateful to have the treadmill in my basement. It definitely keeps me moving, even in the frigid cold!
Count me in on the dysmorphia train…
One of my resolutions for this year (which I promptly broke getting dressed for a date on NY Day….) was to stop focusing on “The Fat”…I need to really concentrate on “The Awesome”
The great things about goals are that they aren’t just a one day thing – we can work little by little on changing our mindset and behaviors! YOU ARE AWESOME! xo
I think you have a great plan and great mindset. You are awesome to have the restraint and yet still motivation !
Thank you, Ashley! It’s not always easy to have a positive attitude, especially when it comes to body image. But I’ve found that it’s a whole lot easier if I am happy and enjoy what I’m doing. 🙂
That’s a really great perspective. I used to weigh myself three times a day (definitely disordered), and I finally came to the conclusion that my whole mindset was wrong. It’s not about numbers or regular check-ins, but overall lifestyle and fitness. I threw out the scale and haven’t been back since. I have the same dysmorphia where I can’t see that I am clearly smaller than I was this time last year, which is frustrating, but I feel great and that’s what matters.
Best of luck to you in this new year. It sounds like you have a great plan!
Thank you so much for the support! I think that there’s such a fine line of being aware (with the scale) and it being too much – I need to find that balance where I’m comfortable checking in occasionally to see my progress and not being overly obsessive about it. Feeling GREAT is really important and I’m glad that you are at that point!
Um you know I am RIGHT THERE WITH YA. That scale is a nutty contraption than can drive us all crazy….but its a good reality. I used to weigh daily too. Good luck. We can keep eachother motivated!
Julie! I seriously wrote this and then read your blog post yesterday and was like YES YES YES – *head nods* We are totally in this together and we’ve got this! Solidarity, sister!
I need to start working on that 10,000 step goal too. =)
You can do it! Do you have a tracker? I love my Fitbit.
I’m SO there. M, W, F, S/U workouts are calling me! Also…a new, expensive (for me) yoga studio membership!
See you on myfitnesspal, I guess!!
I’m Jenereesa over there too, Kimberly! Find me and let’s do this!
I need to get one of those tracker thingies. I run a lot but outside of that I think Im pretty much a bum but Id love to have proof that Im a bum. Good luck rocking 2014!
I got the Fitbit in August and I am a big fan! I definitely need to work for those 10,000 steps per day, even with the miles that I log each day. Happy 2014!
I spent a good part of 2012 weighing myself daily – and then spending the rest of the day obsessing over the number. It was a little scary. I broke the habit, and now I’m not as interested in that number (although I’m up a few pounds from the holidays). I started a food journal again on January 1st to push me to make better choices. I’m less likely to eat that second cookie if I have to write it down. And I started using a FitBit to remind me to move more when I’m working. Good luck!
YES. I agree with the food journaling. I’m definitely less likely to have that second cookie if I know that I’m going to have to log it. In fact, the other night my kids and I were having a cookie for dessert and Little decided he didn’t want his. Usually I would have just ate it when he handed it back but having that accountability of writing it down is what kept me from that. I also have tried to SLOW DOWN as I eat and really savor my food. I tend mindlessly eat so when I eat now, I really want to make it a point to sit down at the table, chew, and enjoy! Best of luck to you!
I’m so with you. In fact, our numbers are almost even the same. My “personal best” so to speak was about 143 pounds, and post-Christmas I was at 156. Now I’m back down to 153 but for race reasons and otherwise, I need to get back down there. For awhile I was really into MFP but I had to ditch it because, like you and the scale, I got a bit too obsessed with exactly weighing and measuring my food, etc. So now, like you, I’ve gotta go by feel and just focus on making better choices. Here’s to supporting each other in 2014!
We can do this! I started back on track 10 days ago and I’m at 155 now, so I’m looking forward to seeing how my body changes with the increase of exercise (not that I was slacking before but I’m definitely more consistent now that I’m able to get the miles in without pain) and also the mindfulness of food consumption. I look forward to following your journey! xo
I definitely understand this girl! Especially after the holidays…my clothes are fitting tighter and I don’t like it! Fortunately our scale broke about a month ago and I haven’t bought a new one.
Our scale isn’t broken but maybe I should convince myself that it is! 😉 Honestly, I don’t mind checking in occasionally with the scale but I don’t want to go back to the place where I was so concerned with the number. Doing it by how my clothes fit and if I’m feeling good and confident are a good enough indicator for me. 🙂
I would like to get to a headspace where I’m not worrying about my weight, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get there. I haven’t weighed myself every day in a long time, but I think about it every day. In fact, when I’m back in my own house, I’ll probably weight myself every day for a while as a way to keep myself accountable. That being said, I’ll repeat – I wish I wasn’t so obsessed. I think you’re amazing for being so confident in yourself, your abilities and your body. You inspire me. <3
I know we’ve talked about this before and you know my love and adoration for you. It’s definitely an attitude adjustment, and a difficult one at that. I read a couple of books that really helped me move into the spot that I’m at now – Eating Mindfully and The Four Agreements are two that come to mind immediately, even though it’s been a few years since I’ve read them. It’s freeing to be able to not spend so much time focusing on it, there’s more room in my head! 😉 Love you. xo
I was a several times a day weigh-er for a loooooong time but earlier this year, I hid the scale under the bed, and went to once a week and then when I thought about it- which was never. I was curious during the streak and took it out to find that it had broken! This is the first time I can ever recall not knowing what I weigh. Weird.
You’re amazing and I know you’re happy now but happier when you’re the healthiest possible you. *high five* I will have to join myfitnesspal so we can socialize there as well. 🙂
You need to let me know if you end up joining myfitnesspal – it’s a great tool when used the right way! 🙂
Thank you for your constant love and support, B. It’s so appreciated and I’m lucky to have such good friends that celebrate with me when I hit goals/cheer me on when I need it!
We need to be FitBit and MFP friends! I’m RunStretchGo on both 🙂
I pretty honestly weight myself every other day, but it’s because for some reason if I don’t, I eat whatever I want. I’m psycho, I know. I’m hoping my FitBit will help me better understand how much I actually move, rather than guessing. I also want to get my metabolism tested again. I had it done a few years ago at the work gym and I’m way more active now.
If the weighing every day works for you, then I say HAVE AT IT! 😉 I was at the point where it just overwhelmed me and my life, you know?
I definitely love having the FitBit and the data I glean from it. Bring it with you down to Florida – it’s crazy to see how much you walk in the parks!!!
Oh totally. At some point I’m hoping to wean myself from the scale some. But for now it helps me stay on track.
And yes, even today, I’m surprised I’ve walked so much. I’m at almost 7000 steps already (granted I’ve walked to and from work already).
Okay, this post is awesome! I love the more/less thing. It’s a great way of looking at the stuff you do and trying to make it a bit healthier! I am trying to do the same thing in my diet because Christmas had me go off the cookie deep end. I won’t ever be able to cut cookies out of my diet, but I can definitely have less of them!
YES. I don’t think depriving myself of anything that I wanted got me anywhere far – in fact, I’m more like to sabotage my eating if I don’t “allow” myself to have something. But having a scoop of ice cream occasionally is better than having a full blown sundae… so I go with modifications a lot. A few cookies = better than eating the entire sleeve!
That is an awesome attitude.
I have weighed myself every day for years. But I do it to keep myself in check. I’m not obsessed with the number (though I have gained a bit I’d like to get rid of) but I don’t let it rule or ruin me.
That’s great, Amy – I’m glad that it works for you and keeps you in check! If I were able to do that (and who knows, maybe at this point I would be able to) I’d be down with that. Right now I think I’m going to choose a morning (probably Fridays) and try to just weigh myself then to keep myself accountable… but not drive myself crazy. Best of luck to you!
I am in the same boat as you. I lost twenty pounds and was two weeks away from running my second half marathon, then I broke my foot. I’ve put on all of the weight I lost but Im just taking it one day at a time.
One day at a time is all we can do, right? Best of luck starting back up and getting back into the groove! xo
Same to you!